Yes, closing the bones. Not breaking the bones, no no no, quite the opposite – closing the bones is an old, sacred wisdom of healing post-partum mums after the very opening experience of a childbirth. Fear not if you’re not exactly a post-partum mum – do you have hips? Closing the bones ritual can be beneficial to anyone who has hips, so literally anyone. Even if you gave birth 35 years ago, or never, or never will due to various reasons, such as hysterectomy, or if you’re a man, it will work. And it will work both physically and emotionally on a very deep level, it’s a very soothing, calming and healing experience.
So, how did I discover it?
You may recall from my earlier article about diastasis recti that it was like a blessing in disguise for me – because I discovered closing the bones ritual on my search for healing. It was so deeply healing for me, my body and my experiences of childbirth. With my diastasis recti I felt so tired, I literally felt I leaked energy like through a sieve. Closing the bones is a ritual which helps to close the bones and the body after the opening experience of a childbirth.
How is it done? During the treatment you lie down on a soft mat, clothed, and a practitioner will sift your hips gently with a rebozo scarf, do a belly massage, and then wrap up the ankles, knees, hips, shoulders and scull with rebozo scarves. All you need to do then is to lie down and relax! Usually some spiritual, or otherwise calming and soothing music is played or sung, or poems or prayers recited. It depends on how much time you and your practitioner have agreed on – it takes around 2h for the whole ritual. Wrapping up helps to close the body, to bring the body parts together, and it releases deep, old tensions from the hip area – we, especially women, are carrying a lot of stories in our hips, in our bones. I have read the book “Women who run with the wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, PhD in Jungian psychoanalysis, where she explains how to tap into the inner life and power of women through the stories and traditions of ancient wisdom: ‘To untangle Skeleton Woman means balm for old wounds. It means changing our ways of seeing and being to reflect the health rather than dearth of soul’ (p. 144).
I had no questions or doubts – I knew that closing the bones was something for me, a ritual during which a space is given to me to heal and replenish my body, my mind, my spirit and my soul.
During treatment, people usually experience deep healing, a feeling of being held and supported, centered and focused. Closing the bones helps healing emotional wounds in a very profound way – often the wounds which we carry in our subconscious from generations ago. When it’s done to new mothers, it honours them and the sacred work they have done by bringing new life to this world. It honours their creativity, their courage, their struggles, their pain, their fears – it honours the Mother Earth in all of us. Like this the mother is replenished and emotionally available to the new born baby – the sacred feminine is celebrated and given dignity. Because bringing new life to this world and raising children – it’s not the sole responsibility of the mothers – it’s a responsibility of all of us. This is the true indicator on how civilised any society actually is. The mothers need to be supported to give babies the very best start in life – and not left alone, judged, and struggling with various conditions, for example, post-natal depression.
I bet cultures which celebrate and support mothers and women have less mental and emotional health issues. It is just cruel in our modern, ‘developed’ societies that mothers have very limited support network, and are expected to take care of the new generation and have unlimited emotional and physical resources for that… If mothers are taking care of the next generation 24/7, who is taking care of the mothers?! Well, in traditional cultures it’s usually the extended family or the village, literally or otherwise. In our modern societies… nobody. The needs of the mothers and the needs of babies for safe primary attachment are expected to be left aside, as if they are invisible. Home life with a baby can be very exhausting and solitary at times, and 3-4 months maternity leave (as in Belgium, for example) is just ignorant, cruel and absurd. How come the mothers have to raise the next generation and be financially available to the society after only 3-4 months, while the UN recommendation for breastfeeding is a minimum of 6 months? If it takes 9 months to grow a baby, does it really take only one third of that time to heal the body? No! Most mothers in our modern world actually never heal… Don’t believe me? Ask your own mother… And with my retirement age calculated at 67 years, how come I get only 4 months to tend for a new born baby and heal myself!?
How did it start with me? I have experienced this beautiful healing ritual with my yoga teacher Japjeet Kaur for several times. I was so intrigued that I followed a training given by her and doula Sophie Messager (both living in the UK, training was given near Leuven, Belgium). And then it started… After my training I decided to practice on my friends not to loose the knowledge I’ve just learnt. And it worked from the very first time! My courageous, open-minded and beautiful friend B. who was the first gave me so much courage and inspiration to continue. All the ladies liked it, and experienced some healing to the extent of their needs at that moment and their openness.
As a closing the bones practitioner, I have literally seen miracles happening in front of my very own eyes. I give voice and visibility to the struggles and joys of the women, including mothers. I give a safe and sacred space for deep healing, for a journey within, for travelling to meet our subconscious. I’ve seen women heal also physical symptoms, such as menstrual or other pain. I’ve seen women going through tough times of divorce or burn-out, or happy times of big changes in their lives – closing the bones absolutely helps to even the path, to go through changes with improved self-worth, resilience, and gentleness towards the self. I’ve seen women rebirthing their inner self, uncovering and freeing their dormant inner child. I’m sure this healing art traditionally existed in many cultures, but it has been forgotten. We have forgotten to take care of the sacred feminine who gave us our life. It’s like we have disowned a part within ourselves. I’m honoured to help women (not only) to become whole again, to heal their wounds and overcome struggles, both inner or outer, to believe in themselves, to rise up to their potential. To stop the suffering on the planet Earth, we need to heal the women.
This ritual can also be done in groups, where other women from the family or among friends are supporting and holding space for the new mother or any other woman who needs healing. It is so profoundly beautiful to both experience that and to be part of the ritual – the group support is so soothing and magical, beyond and above any judgement, competition or comparison so typical of our modern life. Closing the bones can be the most beautiful gift to the new mothers – we have to celebrate not only the new life, but also the caregiver! And no matter if your children are babies, or toddlers, or teenagers, or adults – the caregiver in you may benefit enormously and enjoy a deep healing and transformation – for the better future for you and the generations after.
Search and you will find your healing, and enjoy!
Lots of love,
Laura
Commentaires